So almost every time I love a book
or a movie
or a tv show (much more seldom than the first two), it's because there's at least one awesome character. In some cases, there are SEVERAL awesome characters which is even better. Like for example when I used to watch ALIAS, besides the lead role of Sydney Bristow, I also loved the characters of Michael Vaughn, Marshall, and both Sydney's parents. Which brings me to my point for today which is to celebrate
Seth Cohen, hands-down the BEST character on the now-dead show
The O.C. AND the real reason I ever watched that show. In fact, if an episode didn't have enough Seth in it I was just sad and usually wanting my 45 minutes back ;-)
Seth Cohen was the self-deprecating, total outsider amidst a sea of tan, blonde, beautiful and ditzy people in New port Beach, California. He prided himself as the only one with any culture, muslcal taste, or sophistication. His main role in the town (and school) in which he didn't fit in was getting bullied or teased, but all the while he was quietly mocking them and being entertained by his fellow students' idiocy on a daily basis. He invented Chrismukkah (a hybrid holiday of Christmas & Hanukkah) because his parents on the show were in his words "WASPy McWASP and a New York City Jewish guy". And he was SO witty that his contributions to every scene were what carried most of the scenes (rumors were that Adam Brody ad-libbed a lot of his character). The point is that Adam Brody's Seth Cohen was one of my favorite tv characters of all time. So without further ado,
Here are some of my favorite Seth Cohen-isms (quotes):To Ryan right after Seth's parents officially adopt Ryan.
Seth Cohen: "Dude. You're a Cohen now. Welcome to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt."
Ryan: "It's kind of a shady area up there. It's a hardcore neighborhood."
Seth Cohen: "Dude, it's Long Beach. Not Chechnya."
Seth Cohen: "It is oh-seven-hundred hours. Let the Guys' Night Out begin."
Zach: "Seth, oh-seven-hundred means that it's seven am."
Seth Cohen: "Look, nobody cares that you were in ROTC."
Seth Cohen: "So when you lost your virginity I was playing Magic the Gathering?"
Ryan: "You still play Magic."
Seth Cohen: "Yeah, but not as much."
Seth Cohen: "Do you have any idea how pathetic it is to sit here and listen to you babble on about mergers & acquisitions while some guy stares at your boobs?"
Summer: "What guy was staring at my boobs?"
Seth Cohen: "Who cares. Listen to me, the point is, that guy doesn't know you. He doesn't care about who you really are. In fact, he has no idea that every day of 3rd grade you shared your lunch with that little skinny squirrel who kept getting his nuts stolen by that fat squirrel."
Summer: "I hated that mean squirrel."
Seth Cohen: "And none of these guys were there when you had to read your poem aloud in class and your hand was shaking because you were nervous and you cared what the other kids thought."
Summer: "Poem? What poem?"
Seth Cohen: "I Wish I Was A Mermaid."
Summer: "You remember that? That was like 6th grade?"
Seth proceeds to recite the entire poem and then Summer kisses him. FINALLY. What a great moment ;-)
Seth Cohen: "Ryan. That's extremely minty of you. I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing. Or... laughter."
Ryan: "That's because no one who lived there is as funny as you."
Seth Cohen: "So, we finally agree I'm the funny one. Well look at that! Looks like we all learned some valuable lessons this Thanksgiving."
Seth Cohen: "Hey guys. Welcome to Comic Book League. Check it out. We're gonna to be getting into the issues. The stuff that matters. You know what I mean? Check it out. Today's topic: capes. Gay, or kinda cool?"
Seth Cohen: "What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico."
Ryan: "What happens in Mexico?"
Seth Cohen: "I don't know because it stays there. That's why we must go!"
Seth Cohen: "That is how lame I have become. I have to be third-wheel to not even a real relationship."
Seth Cohen: "I think closure's overrated. I'm more of a fan of open unrequited love."
Seth Cohen: "Ok, I'm gonna go make magic happen. I feel like my hair's working for me tonight."
Seth Cohen: "Dude, I love that guy."
Ryan: (motioning to Summer kissing Zach across the room) "You're not the only one."
Seth Cohen: "No. She cannot be dating him. That's not even possible. How is that possible?"
Ryan: "A second ago you wanted to date him."
Ryan: "You could try being friends with Summer."
Seth Cohen: "Dude, do you really think Summer's gonna want to be friends with me after what I did to her. Especially now that she has the Zach Attack? The guy's like Superman."
Ryan: "He's not like Superman."
Seth Cohen: "He's like a thoroughbred. And I'm a monkey. With cymbols."
Seth Cohen: "I'm not wallowing, Ryan, I'm agonizing. The two are vastly different. Yeah, wallowing, see that's like lounging around, eating ice cream and watching VH1. But agonizing-it's more like MTV2. No frills, it requires discipline. There's no sleep, no food. Just sitting there thinking and wondering, hour after hour, if Zach & Summer had sex."
To Ryan when they are following Ryan's brother (who's only been out of jail a few days) because they're worried he's gonna violate his parole
Seth Cohen: "Would you relax. He's probably just going to buy cigarettes. Or getting into that suspicious looking Camaro with a guy that looks like Lou Reed."
Seth Cohen: "Are you thinking of going undercover? A high school sting operation? Because that would be very 21 Jump Street of you."
Ryan: "Whatever it takes."
Seth Cohen: "Yeah, okay. I get to be Richard Grieco."
To Ryan in Vegas when they have a major problem
Seth Cohen: "Dude, what do we do? I don't want to get thrown out of the hotel. I love the hotel. I want to marry the hotel and have little alcoholic, gambling-addicted kids with it. Is that wrong?"
Seth Cohen: "I don't believe it, Ryan. Bright Eyes has two albums in the top ten."
Ryan: "You okay with that?"
Seth Cohen: "Yeah I just feel like the rest of the world's finally caught up to me. It's a little bit scary."
Ryan: "Yeah, it's a lot scary."
Seth Cohen: "Tell me I'm still special."
Seth Cohen: "I think one day, pretty soon, we're all gonna have a good laugh about this. Ha ha ha. I know that day feels far off, but comedy is just tragedy plus time."
Seth Cohen: "Ryan, I am freaking out right now. I'm using a payphone. And god knows what Asian strain of lip herpes I'm contracting."
Summer: "These are our college lists. Do you see a difference?"
Seth Cohen: "Yeah. The font. Looks like you went with the, ah, Times New Roman."
Summer: "The schools, Doofus. None of them are the same. None of them are even in the same time zone."
Seth Cohen: "Okay, so you went West Coast, I went East Coast. It's not a hip-hop war."
Summer: "What does she see in that guy? He's so dirty and greasy."
Seth Cohen: "He's got good abs. Women like abs. I got a six-pack myself. I know."
Summer: "Cohen, those are your ribs."
Seth Cohen: "Oh."